Why Everything You’ve Tried for Burnout Hasn’t Worked (And What Actually Does)
If you’re a career-driven woman but lately feel like everything’s slipping- your productivity, your energy, your spark - then you’ve probably been working extra hard to fix it.
You’ve read the self-help books. You’ve done the yoga. Taken vacations…
You’ve tried All. The. Things.
And after all that work, you’re starting to think burnout my just be your life sentence. Or that maybe you’re broken.
❤️🩹 Especially if you’ve hit rock bottom and “recovered” but then slipped back into burnout multiple times.
Here’s what I want you to know: most women who I’ve worked with (as a holistic burnout recovery coach) had tried many things before getting in touch with me. Many things that did not work.
But it turns out, these women weren’t broken.
💡 They just weren’t approaching burnout recovery from the right angle.
You know what that means?
—> Now is NOT the time for you to give up and settle.
Once you have a clear understanding of why what you’ve tried so far didn’t work - and what you need to do instead- you’ll be that much closer to shedding the exhaustion, overwhelm, and disconnection you’ve been carrying for also long.
In this blog post, we’re going to get real about why everything you’ve done thus far hasn’t managed to get you out of the burnout cycle. And I’ll share three big things that will really move the needle for you - so you can finally have that fulfilling health, life, and career you deserve.
Let’s get started.
It’s normal to feel defeated- but don’t let it keep you stuck in place
When you’ve tried so many things to deal with burnout, but nothing seems to work, it’s easy to believe nothing will ever work.
That maybe there’s something wrong with you. Or that this is simply “how life is”.
These feelings are normal! Of course you’d feel disappointed, defeated, and apprehensive about continuing to commit yourself to a goal that feels unattainable.
💕You don’t want to be let down again.
But I would hate for you to give up on yourself right now. If you’re reading this blog post, part of you still believes your vision of life without burnout is possible- whatever that means to you.
So let’s inject some objective, rational thinking into the situation and analyze where you’re at and where things possibly went wrong.
Let’s examine what you’ve been doing up until now…
Obviously each woman’s situation is a little different, but after going through my own multi-year burnout experience and coaching women out of burnout for the past few years, I’ve observed some patterns.
Many of us dig into the self-help books, listen to the podcasts, follow the influencers on social media, and from there we come up with lots of ideas of what we “should” do to get back our energy, get more done, feel less stressed, restore our work-life balance, and rediscover our ‘spark’.
So maybe…
You were going to YOGA a couple times a week. And you loved the classes… but didn’t feel a spillover effect into the rest of your life.
You downloaded a MEDITATION app because (duh) meditating is supposed to make you feel “calm”. But all you’re feeling is more anxious - not to mention pissed off at yourself because you can’t stop thinking your thoughts!
You learned all sorts of PRODUCTIVITY TRICKS for getting more done in your workday. Color-blocking your calendar, elaborate to-do lists, even Notion. But you still struggle to mentally focus and often feel like you’re falling behind.
You worked with a CAREER COACH. Even changed your job, hoping that would ‘fix’ things. And it did for a little while, until you realized this job is actually not any better than the last, and you fell back into burnout yet again. (btw- if that rings true for you, definitely check out my blog post where I give you a clear answer to that question of whether you should or shouldn’t quit your job to alleviate burnout.)
You went to THERAPY. And if you managed to find a therapist you liked, you talked it all out. Dug into your childhood. Maybe even identified some of the patterns that burnt you out… but you never figured out how to overcome them. So you stopped seeing your therapist because it was like you were just talking in circles.
You may even have seen your physician or another medical practitioner to have your hormones checked or get answers for the small but bothersome health issues that keep popping up- skin issues, poor digestion, migraines… And now you’ve got a medicine cabinet full of supplements.
These are the most typical kinds of burnout solutions I see women experimenting with. None of them are “wrong”, per se. Some of them I suggest to my own clients.
But there are good reasons why they haven’t worked for you.
Why the solutions you’ve tried didn’t work - and what you can do differently
There’s three big ways that I see smart women go wrong when it comes to ending the burnout cycle. As you read through these reasons, honestly ask yourself: Is this true for me? What could I do differently, moving forward?
Reason #1 - You DIDN’t have a plan or support
When you look back at all the things you’ve tried doing to lift yourself out of burnout, did those things fit into a comprehensive plan that respects where you currently are, what your current capacity is, and where you ultimately want to go?
Did you create a future vision and a clear path to getting there?
Did you have someone you trust supporting and guiding you, so that you’d know exactly what you need to do that would actually work for addressing burnout?
Did you have a way of holding yourself accountable? So that you were always taking consistent action and didn’t give up or give in to phases where your motivation dropped or times were particularly tough?
⭐️ Do not underestimate the importance of having a plan. Yes, a plan for recovering from burnout and reconnecting with the healthful and purpose-driven life you want to live.
Going to yoga twice a week is not a plan. A daily cold plunge is not a plan. These are mere tactics, and they may not even be the best ones for you right now.
When I work with women in THRIVE, my 1-1 burnout recovery coaching program, the very first thing we do is create a gameplan:
First, we assess your current state and develop your future vision. We get crystal clear on what’s currently going on in the realm of your your work, your health (mental and physical), and your personal life (i.e. relationships, social life, etc) and what your ideal future vision is- how you want to feel, how you want your daily life to look, how you want your primary relationships and career to be.
Second, we identify a few specific goals that will move you in the direction of that future vision. Since we’re working together for six months, we narrow down to what’s most important to focus on in that time frame that will bring about the greatest transformation. We shoot higher than you’re probably used to, but avoid overwhelm at all costs.
Third, we get super concrete about what success will look like, especially when it comes to the intangibles. If one of your goals is to have more energy (it almost always is for my clients), then we’ll get as visceral as possible about what that would look and feel like in your daily life, so you know what you’re aiming for and when you’ve achieved it.
The plan we create is flexible because this is your life.
Things change, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, and sometimes in ways you don’t expect. That means that as we meet regularly over the course of six months, we’re always revisiting your goals, evaluating what’s working and what’s not, and considering if your plan needs to shift.
We also use this plan as a guide for figuring out what your action steps should be each week: what will you do to move forward towards your goals and vision? And how will you stay consistent and accountable?
(*Side note: sometimes taking action can look like doing nothing - resting or just continuing to lock in new habits you’ve begun to develop.)
And the last thing I’ll say about having a plan? It feels GOOD. It instills confidence. It gives you faith that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s motivating!
REASON #2 - You werE solving for the wrong problem
Many women - myself included - don’t acknowledge they’re burnt out until things have gotten pretty bad.
Denial is a powerful drug.
⚠️ By consequence, many of the solutions they’ve tried have been aimed at alleviating the surface-level symptoms of burnout - instead of treating burnout like the mind-body-sprit problem it truly is.
Take productivity hacks, for example. They’re useful for helping you organize tasks, meetings, your day. Heck, I’m a big fan of Notion!
Many women turn to productivity hacks because they:
Feel chronically unfocused and frazzled
Think they’re “lazy” (I hate that word) and want to trick themselves out of it
Can’t stop procrastinating
Are feeling inefficient and ineffective at work, their self-confidence eroding
Can’t get everything done during the workday, so work is spilling into their nights and weekends
—> These surface symptoms are NOT the result of a lack of productivity tricks. They’re indicators of deeper problems.
They’re partly a result of long-term chronic stress that has not been healthfully ‘managed’. And they’re also a result of patterns and habits that may have worked for you in the past- but aren’t working anymore.
To illustrate: most women who struggle with time and getting things done ultimately have a HABIT of not setting boundaries around their time, energy, and attention. And to take it one level deeper, that lack of boundaries often stems from MINDSETS AND FEELINGS like fear, a desire to be liked or feel worthy, or a need to control the uncontrollable.
Healing burnout requires addressing all that:
✔️ the surface-level symptoms
✔️ the habits and mindsets that fuel burnout
✔️ the way you respond to stress
To that end, here’s the holistic approach to burnout recovery that I take with my clients in THRIVE:
We refuel and de-stress your BODY with foundational self-care: nutrition, sleep, and movement. This helps spring back your energy at a physiological and even mental level.
We restore your peace of MIND by setting healthy boundaries to manage your time, energy, and attention, and by practicing regulating your nervous system (more on that in the next section).
We reignite your SPIRIT by inserting more joy into your daily life and taking the scary action required to better align your life and career with your values. This is where you truly reconnect with who you are at your core.
Reason #3 - You didn’t learn how to deal with stress in a way that actually works for you
If you’re reading this, chances are high you’ve felt stressed and overwhelmed for a long time. And chances are also high you’ve tried to do something about it.
Whatever you tried, it didn’t work. BUT….
That doesn’t mean you’re ‘broken’ or that solutions you tried (like yoga, meditation, therapy) aren’t helpful for dealing with stress. It’s just that you needed something more comprehensive, that went deeper.
You need an approach that helps you A) cut down on the things that ‘trigger’ your stress response in daily life, and B) respond to stressors (especially the ones you can’t cut out) more calmly.
This is a big part of what my clients learn to do in THRIVE, and it encompasses three key elements:
AWARENESS: You need to be aware of what it feels like in your body when your stress response is turned ‘on’, and what in your daily life is triggering your stress response. And - this is key- you need to identify your own internal mindsets and patterns that add to your stress load.
⭐️ For many outwardly successful women, that means acknowledging patterns like perfectionism, people-pleasing, and overachieving (and investigating the role those patterns have played in your life up until now).
In THRIVE you’ll draw on tools like somatic (body-based) techniques, focused journaling, my Energy Drains and Gains exercise, and even Somatic Breathwork to start building this awareness.
INSPIRED ACTION. Stress doesn’t change until you change. In THRIVE you’ll start taking action to dramatically cut your stress load. This can look like setting boundaries, delegating, and taking small steps to shift out of the patterns and habits that contributed to your burnout. You’ll start small and build up to more challenging actions, slowly extending your comfort zone further and further.
REGULATION. When you’re burnt out, you might find yourself reacting to small things that you wish didn’t feel so stressful (e.g. emails, your husband asking what you want for dinner, your kids asking you to play with them). At the same time, you may often feel drained, numb, like you’ve lost your spark. This is the natural result of chronic stress- your nervous system having been in fight-or-flight for too long.
In THRIVE you’ll learn how to re-train your nervous system to respond to stress more healthfully - so that it turns on (goes into fight-or-flight) when you need energy and focus to get things done, but shuts off (shifts into the rest-and-digest state) when you want to feel calm and relaxed.
LIfe beyond burnout does exist
You’ve tried so many things to heal burnout, but please… don’t give up yet!
I want to share a powerful mindset one of my coaches taught me: “You’re not special.”
I mean, yes, of course you are a special, beautiful person with incredible gifts to share with the world! That’s what we’re here to help you do.
BUT you’re not a special exception to the rule, someone destined to forever be burnt out and stuck.
✅ There are solutions to burnout that work. They have worked for other people. They will work for you, too.
So as you read this post, what do you think you’ve been missing in your efforts to break free from burnout up until today?
Was it a plan and support? A holistic mind-body-spirit approach to address the root causes of your burnout? A way to deal with stress that actually works?
Because once you have those pieces in place and you fully commit to the recovery process, a completely different life awaits you.
Your Next Step: Start Your Burnout Recovery Journey With me in THRIVE
If you’re reading this post and there’s a voice inside you saying “YES, I can do this!” then I invite you to learn more about THRIVE.
THRIVE is my private burnout recovery coaching program where you get the plan and the support you need to reignite your energy and spirit, recover your peace of mind, create work-life balance that feels right for you, and achieve a vision of success that reflects your deepest values and desires.
Click below to learn more:
If it sounds like THRIVE is just what you need, the next step is for us to have a heart-to heart chat.
✨ You can book in a spot on my calendar HERE for a complimentary Burnout Breakthrough Assessment.
We’ll get to know each other a little, I’ll ask you a few questions about what’s going on with you right now and what your goals are, and if it seems like we’d be a good fit to work together, I’ll answer all your questions about THRIVE.
