What's Best for Burnout Recovery: Coaching or Therapy?
Once you realize you’ve hit burnout, and determined you’re ready to get some help, often the question arises:
Do I need a therapist? Or should I work with a burnout coach? What do I do?!
I had questions like these, too, when I hit rock bottom burnout.
And, I understand that when you’ve been analyzing yourself, obsessing over what’s stressing you out, and worrying about making the right decisions about how to 'fix’ yourself, it’s easy to fall into analysis paralysis and put off getting support for even longer.
I don’t want those worries to prevent you from getting the help you need, and getting it as quickly as possible.
In this blog post I’m going address this question: “Do I need a coach or therapist for burnout recovery?” And I’ll be honest, there’s no straight answer.
Truth is, there are times when you will really benefit from a therapist, and other times when working with a coach will help you get to your goals faster. And of course, there’s a lot of grey area in-between.
But, by the end of reading this blog post, you’ll have some guidance to help you make an informed decision about what kind of support you need, and greater confidence to go out and get it, so you can start making real progress on your burnout recovery journey.
Sometimes you really Do Need A Therapist
Most of what burnt out women face could be addressed by a therapist or a coach.
That said, there are some times when getting support from a therapist, in particular, can be extremely valuable (and necessary):
If your anxiety is off the charts or you’re feeling so down that it’s hard for you to show up at work.
If you need support dealing with serious relationship problems (such as divorce).
If you’ve experienced trauma (recently or in the distant past) and it’s interfering with your ability to function on a daily basis.
If you recently lost someone close to you and are coping with deep grief.
If you have a possible addiction to or dependency on drugs or alcohol.
This is just a short list of the situations where you’ll probably want to enlist the support of a licensed mental health therapist. Because here’s a couple things that a therapist can do (but a coach cannot) that will help you with the above problems:
✔️ A therapist can diagnose serious mental health conditions
✔️ A therapist can treat serious mental health conditions (sometimes with medication)
✔️ A therapist can help you safely process trauma, and may be trained to administer specialized trauma therapies such as EMDR.
Often people will say that therapists focus on the past and coaches focus on the present and future.
That’s true but only to a limited extent.
Regardless of whether you’re working with a therapist or coach, when on a burnout recovery journey, you’ll dive into your past, present, and future.
Here’s an example: let’s say you’re a people pleaser (very common among women with burnout).
If you’re working with a therapist, you’ll probably dive deeper into the past to understand WHY you’re a people pleaser. If you’re looking for that sort of support- you want to process your childhood memories out loud, dive into your relationships with your parents, heal childhood wounds- then you’ll want to work with a therapist.
By contrast, inside THRIVE, my private burnout recovery coaching program, I help my clients: A) acknowledge what patterns and mindsets may have contributed to their burnout (“people pleasing” is just one possibility), B) get clarity on the ways that people pleasing (for example) is showing up in their life, with helpful or harmful consequences, and C) strategize what they want to do about it (ex: setting boundaries), and take action. Some of this work is done out loud in coaching sessions, but a lot of it is done through guided exercises I’ve prepared, as well as journaling, and somatic breathwork sessions.
How A Coach Can Support You With Burnout Recovery
A coach is usually a better form of support when you have specific goals you want to achieve and you are ready to begin taking consistent action towards those goals (not just talk about them).
A good burnout recovery coach will help you create a plan to reach your goals and then carry out that plan. With my THRIVE clients, that involves:
Guiding you to hone in on your future vision: who you want to be, how you want to feel, and what you want to create. Everything else will flow from that vision.
Helping you create “SMART” goals that are Specific, can be Measured (so you’ll know when you’re making progress), are Achievable (but still aspirational), Relevant (tie into your values and future vision), and Time-Bound (have a deadline).
Giving you a clear process (sometimes including pre-designed exercises), sharing resources, and teaching you skills you may not already possess, that’ll help you achieve your goals.
Strategizing your action steps on a continual basis, to help you overcome roadblocks and keep moving forward.
Helping you stay accountable to your goals by creating new systems, routines, and habits; tapping into your innate strengths; and building your inner motivation.
In sum, working with a coach usually means more structure, overall.
Of course, the client is always in charge. That’s true in both a coaching and a therapy relationship. You are in charge of determining your own overall goals as well as your goals for each individual coaching or therapy session.
But while a therapy session can be more open-ended, with talk moving in a lot of different directions, a coaching session always has a structure or format.
For example, during a coaching session with my THRIVE clients, after a brief check-in, we’ll always begin by setting the agenda. And we’ll always end by agreeing upon action steps. In my role as a coach, I’m focused on guiding you through a specific process each session so that you’re not just talking in circles but actually moving towards a singular objective.
What’s more, coaching has an endpoint.
When I work with clients in THRIVE, we know starting out that we’re working together for 6 months, and the goals we set are based on that timeline. When the 6 month mark nears, we review what you’ve accomplished, discuss your next goals, and decide whether it makes sense to keep working together, or if a different type of support may be better.
By contrast, in therapy there is rarely a defined endpoint. Many people stay in therapy, often with the same therapist, for years or even decades.
(As you can imagine, I have an opinion here - while I’m a huge fan of therapy in general, I’m not a fan of spending your entire life in therapy. A good therapist will help you avoid developing this sort of dependency.)
so… Do you need a coach or a therapist for burnout recovery?
Burnout is not just about work stress or working too much. It’s a state of extreme physical, mental, and emotional depletion that results from chronic stress.
A lot of that stress will be work-related, but some of it might not be! And that’s why it makes sense to consider what sort of support you truly need.
So let me ask you:
Along with feeling burnt out, are you also dealing with trauma, severe anxiety that’s disrupting your daily life, severe depression, serious relationship problems, or addiction? Do you want help healing from a mental health condition?
—> Then you’ll probably want to seek out a therapist.
Do you have all the signs of burnout and, even though you’re extremely depleted, you’re ready to take action to reverse things and create what YOU want in your health, career, and life?
—> Then you’re a good candidate for coaching.
And if you’re still not sure, keep reading because the ✨MOST IMPORTANT✨ factor, in my humble opinion, is coming up next …
Fit will Make Or Break Your Burnout Recovery Success
When it comes to coaching and therapy, one is not always “better” than the other. But you know what will make a huge difference in your success?
⭐️ The human who is the coach or therapist.
Do not underestimate FIT when working in a close relationship with another human.
You need to feel comfortable and safe expressing yourself with this person.
You need to trust them.
And you need to have trust in their methods and approach.
If any of these 3 conditions are missing, you will not make progress, even if the person you’re working with is the most decorated therapist or successful coach in the world.
I’ve had clients tell me therapy horror stories - therapists who shamed them, tried to impose their own beliefs on them, or give inappropriate advice. And therapists who just let them drone on about their problems for months or longer, never helping them move in a positive direction to solve anything.
But it likely wasn’t “therapy” that was the problem here, but the actual therapist.
Personally, I’ve worked with both good and bad therapists and coaches. For example, I’ve had three therapists - one amazing, one horrible, and one that was kind of pointless - as well as a few coaching experiences:
I remember very clearly the first time I sought a therapist. I was going through a difficult life transition involving a job change and the loss of a long-term romantic relationship, and was walking around all day with a knot in my stomach.
It felt scary to reach out to this therapist- I think I found her in the Psychology Today online directory. And I was nervous as heck.
After meeting with me for only 30 minutes, she suggested anti-anxiety meds. Yes, the same meds that are highly addictive and massively overprescribed in the United States. After knowing almost nothing about me.
That was our first and last meeting (surprise).
Soon after, I found a therapist who was a better fit, though I never felt like I made any “progress” so I just stopped going.
Fast forward years later…
I was dealing with extreme chronic stress resulting from yet another relationship blowout as well as work burnout. I didn’t know about coaching at the time so my challenge was to find a therapist I connected with, and luckily, I did.
Her name was Ellen. She made me feel safe and assured me things were going to be ok. She didn’t try to push unneeded prescription medications on me. And she asked the right questions to push me to take scary action so I could move forward with my life. (💕 Thank you Ellen!!)
More recently, on the coaching side of things, I began a year-long mentorship program with a somatic coach who, in a single hour-long breathwork session, helped me make more progress towards overcoming my perfectionism and overachieving tendencies than years of talk therapy ever did. By contrast, I’ve also worked with coaches who turned out to be ego-centric and seemed mostly out to make a buck.
Bottom line: as in any profession, there are good and bad professionals. And there are people who may be a good or a bad fit for your personality, your needs, and your goals.
—> What’s important is that you meet the person, understand their approach, and see how you feel with them before committing to work together.
This is why I require potential clients to meet with me before we make any decisions about working together. I need to know if I can really help you, you need to feel you can trust me and my process, and together we need to feel like it’s a good fit.
BuT Is It Really An Either-Or Situation?
Final thoughts… sometimes it’s good to work with multiple forms of support.
There was a time during the early phase of my burnout recovery journey that, owing to a head injury, I had an extensive support network: two therapists (one specialized in TBI recovery), a physical therapist, an acupuncturist, a massage therapist, a chiropractor, and a neurologist!
Today, I have a business coach and I’m in a year-long mentorship with a somatic-spiritual life coach.
I’ve also had coaching clients who were simultaneously working with multiple practitioners such as:
a therapist
one or more doctors
an acupuncturist
a physical therapist
a career coach
One source of support usually can’t solve all your problems. And in fact, a good coach will know when to refer you out if you come to a session with a problem they aren’t equipped to help you solve.
For example, in THRIVE I work with my clients on nutrition - it’s almost always the first thing we tackle, because food can have a huge impact on your mood, your energy, and your ability to respond to stress.
However, occasionally I’ll have a client who has a health condition that requires even more precise nutrition. In those cases, I’ll refer them to their doctor or a registered dietitian for additional guidance, and then help them implement it.
Want To Learn More About What it’s like to work with me in THRIVE?
By now you should have a better idea of what sort of support might be right for you.
And if you’re curious about how I can support you, then click on the button below to learn a bit more about THRIVE, my private (1-1) burnout recovery coaching program that is specifically designed with high-achieving women in mind:
Like I said above, I always meet with potential clients (over Zoom) before committing to working together. I call these meetings “Burnout Breakthrough Assessments” because we’ll:
a) assess what’s going on in your life and health,
b) clarify your goals and where you want to go,
c) identify what seems to be keeping you stuck in place, and
d) craft a general plan to get you moving forward.
Depending on what we discover in our call, that plan might involve us working together, or I might suggest some alternative resources or sources of support that would make more sense.
Either way, you walk away with more clarity and a path forward.
If you’re ready for that, click right here to book a spot on my calendar for your free Burnout Breakthrough Assessment.
