How and Why to Practice Gratitude
When you’re truly burnt out it can be hard to see the silver lining. But there are some small things you can take to add joy back into your life on a daily basis. One of those things is practicing gratitude. Here, I’m going to show you how practicing gratitude can improve your life, and suggest a couple small ways you can do it.
What does it mean to practice gratitude?
Practicing gratitude means actively recognizing things about yourself that you admire, things and people that are good in your life, and things/people that have positively changed your life and being thankful for them.
When you’re at rock bottom burnout or when life takes a tumble, there are almost always still many things to be grateful for. Here are some examples, big and small:
Clean drinking water and a roof over your head
A beautiful sunrise or sunset
That good book you almost didn’t read
A partner or good friend who loves you
That tough choice you didn’t want to make but ended up changing your life
I could go on. But the point is, we all have something to be grateful for, every day.
It may take a bit of effort to recognize it at first, but as you get better at acknowledging and appreciating the good things in your life, problems can come to feel less heavy. It’s a matter of changing your perspective.
“Whatever you choose to feed, that’s what will grow.”
Think of it like this. When you feed your problems by giving them too much mental attention or complaining out loud all the time, those problems feel bigger, like they’re consuming your life.
But if you feed joy- if you spend effort recognizing good things and people around you, then that’s what will grow bigger.
How I learned to cultivatE gratitude
I struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life.
Over the years I’ve learned to recognize and manage it with various practices like yoga, surfing, exercise, journaling, talk therapy, somatic breathwork, and just doing my best to keep busy and seek out connection with others. So you can imagine how difficult 2020 was for me- as it was for many people.
Not being able to socialize in person, not knowing what the future holds or if my parents would make it through the pandemic, not being able to go to the gym… the things, completely out of my control, exacerbated my anxiety to the point where I was crying myself to sleep some nights. Over time, I learned to deal a bit better and start focusing more on self-care.
And that’s where practicing gratitude comes in.
In September 2020 I began studying with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition to become a health coach. And in the process I had to reckon with my lack of self-care.
I thought I was already a pinnacle of health- eating well and exercising. But in truth, my mind was not well.
It’s actually amazing that I managed to eat so healthfully, since indulging in comfort food is a coping mechanism for many people. I guess I’m more of the control freak type when it comes to coping with stress. But that only takes you so far.
What was missing in my life was a way to deal with the anxiety of not knowing what comes next- the fear of the unknown- and feeling like nothing was going right and I couldn’t do anything about it.
A few weeks into my health coach training, I learned about the importance of creating JOY in your life. And how practicing gratitude can bring that joy, by forcing you to be present and recognize and appreciate the good. At first I thought it sounded silly, but I decided to give it a whirl.
Here’s the gratitude practice I developed:
I got a little notebook and pen and started jotting down three things I’m grateful for each day. I try to record these three things at night before I go to sleep, but sometimes I don’t get to do it till the next morning (and I don’t beat myself up about that, either). When I’m recording what I’m thankful for, I take a few minutes to really reflect on my life that day.
Even on the worst days, when I’m feeling like crap and angry at the world, I manage to find things that I’m grateful for. Usually, it cheers me up and takes my mind off of what I think I lack or the problems I think I need to solve.
For example, in the cold months, I feel grateful to live in a warm house with a comfortable sofa. When I was living in the mountains of Central and South America years ago, I didn’t have these things! Same when it comes to clean water coming out of my sink faucet- I know it’s not contaminated, and I’m grateful for that.
I also often take time to practice gratitude for the ocean. I live 10 minutes from the beach now and surf regularly- but that was not the case for many years of my life. And of course I’m grateful for my parents and the fact they live nearby, for my partner and his children, and for my personal health.
But some days I like to give thanks for the sunset, for the trees, and for good friends (even if our interactions are socially distanced). Practicing gratitude has even helped me get in touch with nature more. I’ve realized that I have a lot to be thankful for- I live close to many hiking trails and just the past week I’ve bundled up and gone on two beautiful wintery hikes.
Giving thanks is scientifically proven to make you feel better
So far this all may sound anecdotal or like hocus pocus, but there’s actually quite a bit of science to back it up. Research has demonstrated that regularly practicing gratitude can lower your blood pressure, reduce stress, improve your immune system, and help you sleep better. And people who have an active gratitude practice often exercise more, eat more healthfully, and have an overall more positive outlook on the world. (Also see this summary of ongoing research on gratitude).
Cultivate gratitude through journaling
An easy way to start practicing gratitude and invite more happiness and joy into your life is by keeping a gratitude journal. Each day, either in the morning or at night, reflect and write down three things you’re thankful for. If every day feels like too much, try doing it a couple times a week, so that it doesn’t feel like a chore. If you’re struggling to identify what you’re grateful for, try brainstorming things that fit into the following categories:
People in your life, both near and far
Skills or qualities you possess
The environment or community where you live
The natural world that surrounds you
Things you can see
Things you can feel
Things you can taste
Things you can smell
Activities that you do
Things that happened at work
Pets or other animals that surround you
Challenges you’ve overcome
Let people know you appreciate them
Gratitude doesn’t have to start and end in your journal. When you’re ready, share your gratitude with others- whether it’s your mother, your husband, a teacher, or someone else. Tell them how thankful you are to have them in your life, or how grateful you are for things they’ve done for you or the way they’ve made you feel or impacted your life. If you’re feeling really industrious, write them a letter!
But will this work for me? I’m really burnt out, in a bad place…
Gratitude is a very powerful emotion that can dramatically reduce stress. Almost every time a lead a Somatic Breathwork Journey, we end by connecting with the feeling of gratitude, because it can be so life-changing.
But sometimes, we need more than a gratitude practice to deal with chronic stress and challenges in our life.
In particular, if you’ve been feeling burnt out - super exhausted, mentally foggy, anxious and overhwlemd, and just not yourself and trying to figure out what needs to change- then a gratitude practice might just be scratching the surface for you.
You need deeper healing.
If that resonates, then your next step should be to watch my free training on burnout recovery…
